I have seen you at World Market with your $6 price tag. Why do you exist? Why are you so expensive relative to other chocolate bars? How has World Market been able to stock you for the last few years? Someone must be buying this strange bar. As of today, that someone is me.
Surely, the entirety of purchases were not curiosity buys from unemployed vagabonds who have spent the last couple years pondering the existence of such a thing as a bacon bar. Every time I walk into World Market, I have strolled down the narrow chocolate aisle with a head full of whys, glancing over, as if an unsolved crime that no one ever bothered to investigate lies there dead on the shelf.
I like fundamentally terrible ideas that manage to succeed in the marketplace. If I polled all of my friends and told them, "I have a fantastic idea. I am going to make a chocolate bar filled with bacon. What do you think?" Eyes would roll. Yet, this thing exists.
My affection for dark horse entities draws me to strange places like Sulawesi and to chocolate bars filled with bacon. I like things that, taken at face value, do not have a whole hell of a lot in common with the greyscale grip of reality. This bar definitely falls outside of convention's category. It is like a manatee in a suit, cereal on a fine dining menu, or a submarine with wings.
I have sampled the bar, and shared samples with others. Most instances, it was necessary to go out of my way just to incite participation in this odd sampling. Most needed convincing and reassurances. All asked, "Bacon?"
So is it any good? This is where opinions have diverged greatly. I maintain that it is a strange but delectable creature confection. Kristin, my fiance, looks upon the bar as though it is an old gym sock covered in Poodle slobber. In fact, most just couldn't get over the general weirdness of the bar. Most of those who sampled did so under the pretense that I break off a very very small piece for them. With such an approach, it is difficult to work out the full and complex body of the slab of bacon stuffed chocolate. You really have to get into this bar to appreciate it. I did. I think it is great. The sweet and salty come together like angry southerners and a Palin book signing. It is an explosive lot, half the time you are confused, but you leave the experience knowing that something substantial, for better or worse, just happened.
I would say that as a curiosity buy, it is a damn fine purchase. At $6, it is a little steep, and no one will be giving these out at Halloween any time soon. They sell them at confection shops, and of course, World Market.
It is broken into 8 squares. Some of the squares have a "Vosges" inscription. others have ladies hanging out.
Bacon and Chocolate.